Therapy and the Initial Consultation
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
—Carl Gustav Jung
Everyone who walks through my door comes with their own unique knowledge, background, and worries. A consultation is meant to be a brief introduction so that we can make sure therapy with me is a good fit. It is not always easy to cover all that we want or need too. It may also be hard to know what questions to ask or what you are looking for in a therapist. In this post I will give you an idea of what therapy with me is like as well as help you know what questions to ask. My hope is that you come to consultation prepared and confident and leave knowing if myself and this space is right for you!.
Why people come to therapy
Everyone has their own reasons for entering therapy but the underlying motivation can always be boiled down to something is not right. It may be something in your past that you find yourself returning too or running from. It may be a sense that something is missing or a conscious knowledge that you want more. You may feel that your life is lacking purpose or meaning or you may be struggling with transitions and grief. Regardless you have come here looking for a change and help dealing with a problem.
A little bit on therapy
Therapy is about showing up authentically whether you are having a good day or are struggling with overwhelming anxiety and emotion. There are no wrong answers and the more you share the better. An important part of therapy for me is learning how to be loving, compassionate, and curious with oneself and ones patterns. Therapy is not a cure from sadness or negative emotion. It is the process in which we build space and capacity to be able to hold and move through these emotions and hardships. The problems sometimes lessen in our life but many times therapy helps us grow bigger, as a tree grows around a broken branch. The emotions and hurt remain but they are smoothed out as the tree expands.
I want to teach you how to slow down, to sink below the surface of your normal day to day and begin to see the patterns, beliefs, hurts, and sensations driving your actions. In this way we can begin to see who we are, have understanding and care for our past choices, and have space to make new choices in the future.
Another large aspect of therapy is weaving together both past and future so that you have an idea and knowledge of where patterns are coming from and what these patterns are accomplishing. Jim swarts has a quote “no bad parts” meaning that every part of us is working to solve a problem or keep us safe. Sometimes these patterns are outdated and can have terrible consequence on our life. If we have a problem drinking this may lead to losing our job or a relationship, or worse. The pattern developed initially because it helped us around emotions and thoughts we could no longer tolerate and despite the chaos it may bring into our life, this pattern initially saved us and has purpose.
What consultation is
The consultation meeting is a great way for both you and the therapist to get a feel for the relationship. The most important question to get answers is can I open up and feel comfortable with this therapist? Does he have the expertise and experience in the areas I am looking to work on? I use this time to give you a good idea of what therapy will look and feel like. This is your chance to ask any questions for me. Below I included good questions to ask and how to prepare.
How to Prepare and What to Consider
No Intensive Preparation Needed: the session is designed to be conversational.
Reflect on Goals: Think about what you want to achieve (e.g., managing anxiety, processing trauma, improving relationships).
Optional Preparation: It can be helpful to have a list of questions written down, and to note down key points about your current mental health to share.
Do you have experience with clients who have [your specific issue/diagnosis]?
Do you work with clients from my cultural background/identity (LGBTQ+, specific ethnicity)?
What does a typical session with you look like?
What's your policy on confidentiality and cancellations?
How often do you recommend sessions, and what's your availability
How do we know if therapy is working (or not a good fit)
What has worked or not worked in past therapy experiences?
Therapy is not a test. The best way to show up is to show up your authentic self. Discuss what is troubling you and what you would like to work on. Taking time to reflect on goals such as managing anxiety, setting boundaries,processing trauma, or improving the relationships can help us get right to the work.
Trust your gut
There are lots of different styles and thoughts around therapy. Reserch shows that the most important measure is feeling comfortable, understood, and safe in therapy. If you dont feel that you can open up and be understood then it may be time to discuss trying someone else. Just like in life some personalities dont match I am not right for everyone. I am always happy to give referrals if you are looking for something different!
Take ownership of the process.
It is not just about showing up and there is no pill to take to make things better. The way to get the most out of therapy is do the work. Which means taking what we learn in session with you and applying what we do during the week. Therapy is practice, it is exploration, it is in ways, play. When we leave the room we are tasked with engaging with ourselves and the world in new ways.
If your interested in learning more please reach out!
